God never gives you more than you can bear.

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain .... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall, But God's always ready, To answer your call ... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, A word from His lips, can calm every fear ... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, in dawn's early light ... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, To give you His grace, and send you His love .. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, "God always sends rainbows .... after the rain ... "

To get out of difficulty, one must usually go through it! God never gives you more than you can bear – so bear it willingly and you will rejoice in your rewards!

School has started

Well, yesterday was the first day of school.

Here are the girls just before we leave the house. Erin is starting 2nd grade and Emily is in 4th. They are both very good students and are very excited about getting back to schedule.

Erin's teacher was very welcoming and warm which really made for a great start.

Emily has the new teacher who happens to male. She is very focused on the fact that he is male and was a little apperhensive about him.

I picked them up instead of them riding the bus home (upon their request) and was glad to hear that they both had a very good day. Em says that her teacher is funny but very strict. We'll see how this will work for her. I'm sure she will be fine.

Scouts also started last night. Wow are we going to have a full year. I have 12 Junior scouts and Cris has 12 Brownie scouts. We will be having lots of wild times together learning about being women in today's world.

The juniors got to pick our troop crest last night. By votes, they picked the Unicorn crest to represent us with it standing for our Friendship, our Adaptability and our Creativity.

What if I stumble????

Thursday, September 27, 2005, I left for a 72 hour spirtual retreat that, at the time I didn't know it, would change me forever. I was excited and scared all at once about going. This was something I had never done before and I was doing it alone. There were 5 other women from my church going but I had never taken any religious class or activity before without Marty. He wasn't even allowed to go with me to drop me off.

On the drive out, my fear rose and by time the sponsors from our church had left, I was in near panic mode. Friday, I walked around in a haze trying to figure out why I was there but actually started settling down. I talked with the ladies from my church and made some friends that I didn't expect to make. On Saturday morning, I received the answer to why I was suppose to be there. God's grace came so hard to my heart that I'm still in awe of the power of Him. Knelt at a foot the cross I laid down my pride, my selfishness, and my selfpity and I picked up my cross and have been carrying it every since.

Until this Saturday and then Sunday...............I stumbled and then fell. The pain in my heart is so heavy. I'm confused and bruised. I'm human and I'm subject to all human conditions. God knows I've experienced most all of them at some point. God's grace is so devine and I know that when I asked His forgiveness it was unconditional given to me but the feeling of letting Him down is so strong. Letting anyone down or being anyone elses stumbling block is something that truly weighs on my heart.

With being the Interim Children's Minister for the church, the very thought of the possiblity of causing someone to turn from God because I stumbled or fell due to my humanist causes me to be so ill. I know there is only one perfect Christian and none of us will ever compare to His glory, but ...............

I can't find the words, yet I can hear some of my friends as they will read this. "Don't be so hard on yourself." "You have to forgive yourself as God has forgiven you." "We all suffer from human errors." I know. Just hitting earth after being among Angels since October 1, 2005 can really hurt.

God, I'm listening. I don't know what your telling me but I'm trying to listen.


DeColores





What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I cannot compose
The fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows.
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will it leave a deadly scar?


DC Talk's - What if I stumble - from the Jesus Freak album

The count down has begun.

In 9 days Marty and I start back Disciple. We will be doing IV this time and have been doing Disciple Bible study four years. This will be 5.

In 10 days the girls start back to school. Emily has a male teacher and Erin has a teacher that moved from K to 2nd grade this year.

In 10 days Girl Scouts start back on regular meetings.

In 12 days our Wednesday night cell group starts back meeting every week at our house.

In 24 days Emily starts piano lessons back.

I could go on and on. We schedule everything, can you tell. I'm a very structured individual but even this gets to me sometimes.

I am excited about all of these starting back though. I may be a nerd but I love planning and since I'm the scout leader and the children's ministry, I'm always planning something. We have a very exciting new year in scouts since Emily moved up to Juniors. There is so many activities and badges and things to learn. I've got so much planned for them that I don't know how they will find time for school.

Then there is the new program that we are starting for the 4th through 6th graders in Sunday School. We're starting a new group called Faith Finders and have the really cool curriculum that even has it's own website that the kids have access to. They give us the feed back on it as to what they want us to teach each week and they do the choosing of the games they do, so that they get a hand in their activities. The ones that I have talked to are very excited about it.

Lots of different great things and then a few sad.

We have our going away/back to school scout party tomorrow. It will be Alexis' last event with us. She and her mom are so cool (check out her blog). Alexis is one of Emily's best friends and Tiffany is quickly becoming one of my very close friends too. It's great but now we are gonna have to communicate via our blogs because she will be in Japan. I'm very excited for them and am actually very envious too. I'm not really a mover type person but I'd love to see other parts of the world and learn different cultures. I just do it through my military friends. I told Tiffany that Alexis is gonna have to get a webcam so she can still attend our meetings. I've already sent her an invitation to our private troop blog so she can still communicate with the girls. Another thing that is wonderful about Tiffany that we are going to miss is she knows all of the Camp Story Girl Scout songs and she has been our teacher. So the webcam will have to serve two purposes, to keep Alexis connect and so Tiffany can still teach us music.

I'll try to get a picture of Tiffany and Alexis tomorrow at the party.

August already

I can't believe that it is August already. Scouts, School and Small Group are starting back and I just can't see where the time is going to come from. We stay too busy these days. I'm always feeling somewhat rushed. I love all that I do I just wish I had more oppurtunity to do it. Thers'e only one activity on my plate that I'd like to give up and I can't because it's the one that pays the bills.

Work is not what it use to be. It use to be interesting and busy and changing. Now it's slow, stressful and full of politics. I don't like politics.

Well, I know I have to make the lemonade out of lemons so I won't complain. I have job with great benefits and when we do have funding it is rewarding. I just have to make it through these slow periods I guess.

There are so many topics talk about some days and others I've got nothing. Today I could change subjects over and over. I could talk about scouts and how excited I am about this coming year. I could talk about the girls going back to school and how excited I am for Emily and concerned I am over Erin. I could talk about Children's Ministry at our church and how I'm looking for servants to help out in all departments. I could talk about starting our cell group back and that I'm not ready because my house is a disaster. I could talk about the walk that is coming this weekend and how excited I am for the women who are going. I could talk about my friend who might be going on one of the next women's walk in Oct or Nov. I could talk about how I wish more of my friends would blog and that it actually flustrates me that they don't. I could talk about the dear friend who is moving in a week to Japan and I'm going to miss.

Pick a topic. Any topic. I've don't know which to discuss. Maybe it isn't my life that is busy but just my brain with too many thoughts.