Have you ever woke up and realized that you're not the Mommy that you wanted to be? We all make jokes about "you're turning into your Mother," or "I sound like my Mother" but do you have an idea in your head of what kind of mom you wanted to be?
I don't like the mom that I am becoming. I believe in being strict because I believe that my girls need to be taught that they are resposible for their actions and no one is to blame for their bad choices, but lately their choices are getting them into trouble. They're not doing anything that most people would get upset about, but again I'm the strict mom. I'm after them all the time and I'm loosing my temper almost on a daily bases and I don't like to. I've seen both of my girls in tears because of me almost everyday for of the last 7. That isn't what I want at all. This isn't the mom that I want to be.
I love my girls and I know they are great. I know that Em is intelligent and outgoing and confident but I'm always on her case. I know that Erin is intelligent and kind and loving but I'm always hard on her about school work.
I've been feeling like a monster lately and I just want to be a loving Mom. Not a best friend Mom but a loving, care what I think, be there to talk to Mom.
Today is my birthday and I'd rather not celebrate it because I've become a person I don't like and that isn't something to celebrate.
2 comments:
That sucks. I am sorry.
Parenting is hard because there are so many different ways to do it and not everything is going to work for every kid. It is amazing how people defend one particular way that may or may not work for me and my family. It seems like everyone has a study where if you parent by a different theory then your kid will end up an IV drug user.
Anyway, don't be hard on yourself. Go out and do something fun with them so you can be the momma you want to be. I am thinking of you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I know exactly what you mean... I was a monster for a month at least, being more like my dad (ugh) than I wanted to be.
Pray about it. Ask for your husband to pray for you too. I'll be praying for you as well. You're a great mom because you have created great girls...
And I hate it that I forgot it was your birthday... expect a box soon.
Love ya!
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